Ramblings about life and love and loss
Wednesday, March 18, 2026 12:36 PM PDT
Seattle, WA
I have so much to do so I am just starting this blog entry and then switching back to my “school/work” Mac account to get some stuff done. I am leaving for India tomorrow, have a meeting at 3 pm, and understandably I have not packed at all yet. Oops.
I also am typing this in Google Docs because my Microsoft Word is updating, and that made me rather upset (not really.) Okay, more later. This blog is about having hope, and whatever else comes to mind I guess. The quote is from an Instagram comment I screenshotted–the post is of course beyond my memory, because who remembers everything or anything they read on Instagram?
The original person said: “it’s naive to have hope for humanity.” And someone replied saying “then let me be a fool”
Okay, now I really have to go. More later. I promise. Maybe I don’t promise, because it’s not that deep and promises can be broken. Lol I’m rambling.
Okay, now it’s 2:08 pm PDT. Has it really been 90 minutes? That’s crazy. I can’t say I was all that productive – I put my dirty clothes in the washer, then the dryer; put some of my bedsheets in the washer and waiting for the clothes to be dry so I can dry the bedsheets/pillows. I filled out an eArrival for the Indian government and crashed out because my grandmother’s apartment complex does not have a listed address anywhere. (on their website they claim they are “across from” another area. THAT’S NOT AN ADDRESS.)
I packed some of my clothes as well as the gifts I ordered so far–two 2.5 lb bags of unsalted nuts, a knife set and some chocolates. I have to go buy raisins, more chocolate and perhaps a box of Cheerios later, with some time I’ll pull out of my ass I guess. (I could go now… but I’ll probably go after I go bowling later.) I also put some clothes I am donating, because my grandmother has close connections with an orphanage and I don’t feel too strongly about them anyway. I would like some new clothes, I have been wearing some of them for years. I was sad to give up my favorite Beatles shirt a little. I still have to pack my actual clothes that I will be actually wearing…
I also paid a rather large sum of money to UW Medicine for what one would call personal reasons. (I had to go to the hospital last month. All is well now.) It’s the magnitude of amount that makes me shake my fist at the American healthcare system.
SORRY IF I’M MEAN. THAT’S JUST MY FATHER IN ME. I HATE TO BE CRUEL. I WAS RAISED ON BLOOD, WHISKEY AND FOOLS. (Bo Staloch song, excuse me. I know him personally-ish, but I think it’s a violation of both of our privacy to explain how.)
And I schedule-sent some birthday texts because the messaging situation in India is shaky with my phone plan, whether I’ll be charged or not, so I’ll probably just disable messaging on my phone entirely and go strictly on WhatsApp for these 10 days so that I don’t risk getting charged for anything. I know I definitely can’t make calls, but the texting is uncertain. Either way, it is nice to get a break from people even though I love them all. I will see them again very soon.
What else did I do? Oh I did some research work because I have to leave for my meeting in approximately 26 minutes. I had to basically copy-paste my code for some more fields and then copy the files between locations. I was ssh-ed in to a remote machine in one window, where I was putting the files, but I first had to go to another folder within that machine to get a file, copy it over to that other folder, and then copy over a local machine python file to read the copied file and put everything in the new folder.
I realize this is basically a journal entry… which i have a journal for. Why am I writing this here? Well, too late.
I was going to write a blog post about hope. Maybe I will do so soon. I’m also listening to some great tunes on Spotify. I listened to GNX by – oh, I don’t have time to run today… that’s sad. I was supposed to have 4 hours between my final ending and my research meeting, but I got boba with my friends for 1.5 of those hours instead, thinking I was being overdramatic with all the stuff I had to do in that time. No… I really wasn’t. Oops. I can always leave bowling early, but I don’t want to because I don’t see one person in that friend group often at all and I like hanging out with all of them. This will be our third time bowling!
But yeah I listened to GNX by Kendrick Lamar while running two days ago–it was 1.5 miles to Gasworks and back, though I only ran the way there because I’ve been kind of rusty in running lately and I don’t want to overdo it. Yesterday I just ran a quick 400 m because I took a long time on my essay and sat down for too long, so I needed to reset before getting dinner.
Speaking of which I haven’t actually eaten lunch yet. Or anything today besides an apple and the aforementioned boba. I do have leftover Chipotle… oh my god, so much to do!!
Maybe I will just reuse what this blog post originally was about and retitle this. :) I am planning to bring a notebook and write my blogs in there. Then when I get back I guess I will just copy them all over to Github directly…
I also stared at the fridge briefly, threw out a bag of cheese that is not moldy but a good amount past its expiration date, and will not certainly revert its lack of freshness in the next 10 days. But then I didn’t really feel like cleaning it.
I also listened to SOUR by Olivia Rodrigo yesterday and LOVED IT. My friends don’t seem to feel the same way, but I thought while the melodies were fairly simple they were all enjoyable. I’d only ever heard good for u and loved it but I’m also loving her other songs. Now I’m listening to Hotel Room Service by Pitbull though. It ironically reminds me of my ex boyfriend who I do not have particularly great feelings for right now, but we don’t need to get into that.
Ok now i should really eat something because who knows when I will again. Toodles! I guess the next time you will hear from me, unless I have time tonight (very unlikely), will be in April. So bye until then!